I’m not your typical homeschooling mom…
You won’t find me planning this week’s lessons or devoting an entire room of my house to homeschooling.
There’s nothing wrong with that style, it’s just not me.
If homeschooling has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t force yourself into the “perfect homeschooling mom” peg. You have to examine your talents and your weaknesses and be okay with it. Sometimes that means you will have a room dedicated to homeschooling or sometimes that means your classroom is on a picnic blanket in the yard. But that’s what I love about homeschooling, the fact that there are so many styles and so many talented parents out there. I’m done comparing myself to others, and now I can honestly say I look at other moms and think, “Wow, that’s a great way to do that. Maybe I’ll incorporate that, maybe I won’t. We’ll do what works for us.”
They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I think the most important part of us village members is to support ALL PARENTS and THEIR CHOICES instead of pointing out ways they could raise their child better.
Consider me part of your village. I support your choice to homeschool, to public school, or to unschool your child. I believe if we can just push judgement aside and allow parents to actually parent without guilt, amazing things could happen.
Homeschooling guilt is real, ya’ll.
I didn’t always have the ability to not compare myself to other homeschooling moms. Homeschooling really brings out the insecurities within yourself. We wonder if we’re going to screw our kids up, we wonder what people think, and we wonder if we have what it takes to actually produce a capable adult.
For those of you who studied all sorts of curricula , and felt overwhelmed, let me share with you what we’ve done for our homeschool curriculum that’s a little more easy-going for ya’.
Our Homeschooling Beginnings
Initially when we started to homeschool, we chose unschooling. I loved the idea of child-led learning, mostly because my son was such an avid science buff and at a young age could sit through hours of lectures or documentaries about the biology & history of different species of animals. He would get in trouble in school for reading a science book about endangered animals when the assignment was to read the Magic Treehouse series, which he was incredibly bored with. His love of learning and his ability to absorb information and memorize it was contagious for the whole family, so you can see why unschooling really worked for us in the beginning years. It was a great detox from sitting in school and being told what to learn. The kids had the freedom to learn whatever they wanted, and they ran with it. We spent time exploring, researching, experimenting, and doing what 8 & 10 year olds love best — experiencing life. We also were able to put home & farm projects into learning — so it was a win-win on all sides.
As they got older, however, we noticed some gaps in their schooling. Their writing was below what you’d expect at that age. Initially it didn’t concern me because I held fast to the unschooling belief that they would eventually learn it. But, what convinced me to try an English curriculum was the creativity behind a certain method that taught writing in an incredibly fun way. This method was EVERYTHING to us. In the span of a few months, they went from barely being able to write a grammatically-correct paragraph, to full stories, rich with creativity and the flow of a high school paper. This showed me that there can be a good balance for us easy-going families. And today we have a mix of child-led learning & homeschooling curricula that we love.
Homeschool Curriculum for Easy-Going Families
Let me begin by saying we don’t agree with pushing things like biology, history, or geography so young. You’ll find that in a lot of textbooks there’s a lot of repetition from year to year. You might cover the mitosis of cells 6-8 times in the span of their schooling years. We feel that pounding the same information in over and over again DOESN’T produce retention, but instead produces boredom and disinterest in the information.
An example of how early education can stunt learning…
You’ll notice in public school math facts will start in 1st grade. It’s pushed heavily in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and beyond. Homework ALWAYS includes math facts. And GOOD LORD, was that the bane of our existence. Trying to get our 7-9 year olds to memorize numbers was the literal worst. And one day I thought, “Maybe this is like potty-training. You can’t force it until the development is there.” So, the minute we decided to homeschool, we stopped doing math facts. We threw those facts out the window and ran them over with the car. We forgot about them for a couple years and guess what happened? They had a few life experiences with counting and when we finally introduced math facts again when they hit about 10 & 12, they learned all of them within a few months. Some might say that’s too old and that you can’t do math at all. That’s absolutely right. During this time, we also held off on any math at all – other than life-led experiences. And do you know what happened? Once we started it up again, they both soared in math. In just one year, they flew threw 3 grades each and are now each 1-2 years ahead of their peers.
I’m telling you, there’s something to be said about waiting for development to catch up first. Instead of starting younger in an effort to get ahead in the learning-game, why not wait a bit? We force math facts on 7 year olds and wonder why they still don’t have it down by age 11? Could it be they’re brain goes numb now just by saying the words, “math facts”?
We focus on basics + their interests.
We do plan on completing a high school course of biology, anatomy, history, etc. but we feel that one time around in high school, plus another course in college should be sufficient for them to retain that information. We have noticed that biology, history, & geography come up naturally in the child-led portion of our homeschooling.
Our Homeschool Curriculum Basics
In our home we focus on the basics, which are math & english/writing. Math teaches an important principle, much like learning an instrument. It teaches you that no matter how good you are, you still have more to learn. We also think it’s a vital skill for our children to comprehend what they are reading as well as express themselves in writing.
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MATH CURRICULUM
Our favorite math homeschool curriculum is Khan Academy. This free program is UNBELIEVABLE. Each skill has a short video to learn from, then you apply it, practice it, and pass it off. There are lots of interactive congrats each time you do it, and plenty of room to go at your own pace. We’ve been doing this for 3 years now, and we still love it. Our kids keep a calculator & a paper/pencil close by, but other than that, everything is online. Lydia, who would be in 6th grade this year, just starting 8th grade math. Ethan, who would be in 8th grade this year, is just starting 9th grade math.
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ENGLISH CURRICULUM
Our English curriculum is divided into two categories. One side of learning how to write is focused on grammar, spelling, & punctuation. For that, we use Learning through Language Arts. For learning how to write creatively or for research papers, and use correct flow & a wide variety of vocabulary, we use Excellence in Writing. This is BY FAR my favorite. The author of this homeschool curriculum, Andrew Pudewa, is brilliant. I wish I learned to write with this method. My kids are producing amazing writing skills. We purchased his beginner program with accompanying DVD’s to watch. The classes are short, entertaining, and effective in how they teach. I can’t say enough good things about this homeschool curriculum. I should also mention that for a while we had our kids practice spelling with a free online program called Spelling City. We don’t do it anymore because now our kids have got the spelling thing down:)
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Our Child-Led Homeschooling
After we complete the basics, we then provide opportunities for them to learn around their individual interests. Right now, Ethan is still into paleontology & zoology, and loves mythology & philosophy as well. He’s an avid reader and is consuming non-fiction books constantly. We’re often watching a movie and Ethan will mention a specific culture or myth that is similar to that storyline. Every movie we watch, every book we read, & every event we attend, is full of discussion & learning — it’s something that comes naturally from our years of unschooling. Right now as I type this, Kevin & the kids just finished watching a movie and are now researching the location of the Red Sea and how long it would take us to travel there. Ethan’s also pretty musical and plays the baritone & piano.
Lydia is a do-er, she loves hands on learning so you’ll often see her starting a craft or creation. She also is the first one to beg for a new farm animal, then dive into the science behind how they eat, how they breed, how they give birth, etc. She’s not as much into reading, but she loves experiencing life and is excited to try new things. Lydia also plays the piano, clarinet & ukulele.
This is just an overview, but you can see that we cover lots of different subjects by simply allowing our kids to choose what they’d like to learn about.
You can read more about how unschooling covers all subjects HERE.
Do we worry about gaps in their learning?
Do we worry about gaps in their learning?Of course we worry, but we also worried about gaps in their learning while they were in public school. One of the best pieces of advice I received is that there will ALWAYS be GAPS in their schooling whether you homeschool or not, but the most important thing you can do as a parent is to make sure your child has a LOVE of LEARNING. Learning is really a life-long experience, and I’m confident that the path we’re on is moving them towards that journey. And if you’re an easy-going family like us, hopefully this eases your mind about your homeschool curriculum choices, too.
Hi DaNelle, reading your article has helped me so much! I will be starting out in homeschooling with my 2 kids, ages 5 and 10. And boy, do I have cold feet! Thank you for sharing your experience and knowledge. We are coming from public school, so for me, having to guide my kids learning on my own is daunting. I love that you used a laidback curriculum while unschooling. This is a great guide!
Love this!! And I love how you stated that the village parents should be encouraging one another instead of trying to tell one that their parenting methods are wrong. I see so many moms ripping other moms to shreds over petty things. For example, vaxxing parents will often eat non vaxxers alive and say horrible things, and Vise versa. And I never understood this. Why not just let others parent as they choose and we do the same? It’s so nice to find parents that support other parents, no matter what parenting style (or schooling style)one chooses! We were not formed with cookie cutters but instead each one of us is unique, we were ALL fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator and he loves us so much that he sent his Son to die just to save each and every one of us. May every one of you be blessed beyond measure!
Oh my gosh I could cry! Thank you so much for this! I also started out with an “unschooling” heart, but realized they need more guidance from me and have just felt so insufficient to help them. I don’t know where to start or how to do it. I fundamentally believe they CAN learn well and flourish here at home, but I’m overwhelmed by the options and don’t know what I’m supposed to do. This post is helping me feel less anxious about the places they seem behind and encouraged that the plethora of free resources out there is actually enough without my *having* to buy this or that curriculum. (I’m also excited for your endorsement of EIW because we’re starting that next year!). Thank you again!!
I wish I could do this with my kids. But they REFUSE to READ. If I don’t give them assigned books to read, they would never touch a book 🙁 I hate this high-tech world we live in where screens have replaced good old-fashioned reading.
I grew up with curriculum for the basics, then I inhaled every book I could get my hands on, often faster than my mom could get me to the library! I still read and have FOUR bookcases stuffed with books and enough books stacked in my bedroom and in boxes in the attic to fill a fifth bookcase if I had room for it!
Curious as to what you are doing for high school as my oldest is approaching that age and has some learning disabilities (AND lack of motivation).
Hi Crystal-
I can understand your frustration. And that’s awesome you are such an avid reader! DaNelle’s oldest now goes to public school since he reached high school. It often helps to join a local FB group and/or seek out a local homeschool group to find support.
Best wishes with your homeschool journey! Thank you -Bobbi (DaNelle’s Assistant)
Hello! Some homeschool families like to use technology for subjects and some don’t. Since you mentioned a lack of interest in reading, I thought I’d mention that my son, who may have less motivation that some, actually like “Reading Eggspress.” If you are interested, see http://www.readingeggs.com.”
This was so encouraging thank you! We’ve been homeschooling right from the start, our son is currently 9 and I have guilt and doubts and fears all the time! Since I have a chronic illness and very limited energy, we really do have to be super laid back about our schooling- every time I try to be a lot more what I think other homeschool do, I totally crash energywise. But our son is incredibly smart and has already learned so much. Thanks for the tips on learning to write I will check those programs out! We’ve been writing some children’s stories together with a cast of characters we came up with, but I’m at a current block with it and need help getting us over the hump.
My husband is so concerned with having something on paper to ‘see’ how they are doing and what they have achieved at the end of their 9 years of schooling it is putting great anxiety within me. We didn’t have and I believe there still issn’t a ‘paper’ of qualifications that you have when you finish school. A job interview can make or break your opportunity, not your paper.
What would you tel a husband like mine?
Hi Mrs. E-
Yes, I understand many do want something tangible to note progress and completion. If you (or your husband) do want something like that, your best bet is contacting your State Department of Education. They can help you with items like that. Or if they don’t have those things, then you can be satisfied that there isn’t a paper/tangible item to denote these things. With or without the paper of progress and completion, if you have prepared your children well they will excel in the workforce.
I hope that helps. Best wishes to you and your family!
Thank you -Bobbi (DaNelle’s Assistant)
Thank you for writing this! This is exactly what I needed to hear/read/accept. We decided to homeschool so our kids could guide learning. While they are only 7 right now and we try to introduce a lot of concepts, some days we just play. I think that’s exactly what they need right now, but then thoughts creep into my head that I’m not doing enough. I see moms with stacks of books about every which subject, and 4 year olds who are practicing writing the same letter every day for a week, when we just play a game of find the magnet letter on the fridge. Then I remind myself that my children are devouring books, they can carry and borrow and are figuring out multiplication and dividing by baking cookies, and they play the violin and guitar. I just needed to hear that other moms were doing the same thing. I feel guilty because it feels like I’m the only one doing unschooling and maybe I’m under serving my children. The thing is though I am vehemently against forcing a child to sit down and receive instruction for hours, whether it’s hands on or not. As adults we learn through asking questions and then seeking out the answers and why shouldn’t my kids learn that way too? It’s a lifelong practice. Of course we require fundamentals, but I love what you say about children being ready when they are ready!
This was of great help! We are possibly going to be starting to homeschool our kids and reading this helped a ton..I followed the link for the Excellence in Writing but I’m not seeing the beginners bundle you are referring to..could you possibly send the link to the exact package you bought from there? Also on the Learning Language Arts, do you buy the workbook to go along with it?
Hi Erin-
The Excellence in Writing package DaNelle bought was Level B, because her kids were older. DaNelle suggests to calls them, as they are great at helping you find the right package for your kids. With the LLA, she didn’t buy the workbook. I hope that helps! Best of luck with your homeschooling!
Thank you -Bobbi (DaNelle’s Assistant)
Hey, great post! I was wondering if you have seen https://kidsspell.com/ ? It has basic spelling lists already created up through 12th grade, or you can create your own. It has multiple games for the kids to do to practice the spelling words, and the best part is it’s free! Also https://www.lakeshorelearning.com/ has file folder games that are awesome and engaging! Also, https://www.mathantics.com/ has some awesome, fun math videos and worksheets. It’s only $20 a year and is similar to Khan Academy, but has been more engaging for youngers I find. Anyway, I just really could relate to your post, so I thought I’d share a few of the fun resources I’ve found helpful!
Hi Danelle! I absolutely love your blog/videos, thank you for sharing your life and experiences with us! I recently saw a YouTube video you made that mentioned the online program Ethan and Lydia use to fill in educational gaps. I cannot find the video and I cannot remember the name of the program. Can you please let me know which program you use? Thank you!?
Hi Cristina-
The program is called MobyMax. Thanks!
-Bobbi (DaNelle’s Assistant)
Best Homeschool Post I have read!
Thanks!!
I do about the same when it comes to homeschooling. At about what age did your children start reading and doing math well? I have 4 kids and my 2 oldest (12&9)struggle with reading and math and my 2 youngest (7&5) are picking it up quickly. Any tips or pointers? Thanks
Hi Kayla-
I think these articles DaNelle wrote can help give you some good pointers:
https://www.weedemandreap.com/first-year-homeschooling/
https://www.weedemandreap.com/homeschooling-hacks-tricks/
I hope that helps! Thanks -Bobbi (DaNelle’s Assistant)
Thank you so much danelle! U have just described my family almost to a tee. We dont have land or goats , yet. Not for lack of want yhough. Thank you for taking the time to write. Thank you for sharing thr resources you use. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP WITH THIS. Tana brand
I Loved this article Danielle. I’ve never homeschooled. I attended public system. I think, all along life there will be gaps in learning . We have rapid changes taking place. New awareness; new information. I liked the unschooling idea. Focusing on basics: reading; writing & letting exploration to pursue interests. Sounds idyllic. Thank you & all the best.
Donavin
Thanks for sharing your homeschool perspective! We are extremely relaxed homeschoolers…borderline unschoolers. We love Brave Writer for language arts – have you heard of it? That’s what I thought you were going to say when you listed your curriculum. I’ll have to check out your recommendations. My kids are still young (7, 5, 3, & 1), so I haven’t noticed major gaps yet. But like you, I feel slightly uneasy about leaving communication (writing) to chance.
I have a son. He is 8. We started to HS on a very tight budget and he loves Khan Accadamy we also use Discovery k12. When I put together his portfolio for review I realized social studies was a very thin folder. I wish life was richer in adventure like the family road schooling, they are living our fantasy life. Congats.
I’m so glad you wrote this. We’ve been travelling the USA in our RV for 3 years now and “road”schooling our two boys. I stressed myself out the entire first year, worried I wasn’t doing them justice. Then, I realized that they’re getting MORE than their grade-level of science, history, geography, and biology just from our travel experiences – going to science centers, visiting battlefields, earning junior ranger badges, volunteering at wildlife refuges, etc. So, we shifted our homeschool focus to just math and english, just like you did. We are fortunate that they tend to naturally do well, although my 11-year-old who is technically in 6th grade is not feeling the pre-algebra at all, so we’re struggling with that. I can’t wait to check out the resources you linked to in hopes that they will benefit us as much as they did you. Great article and you’re doing a great job! Best wishes.
Try math u see if Kahn academy doesn’t work for you. It’s a great curriculum, and even I understand Algebra after doing it with my son. ?
Thank you so much. This blog post hit the spot right where I needed it. You see I have had self doubt for the past couple weeks and comparing to our friends who go to public school. This is our first year and I jumped in with two feet and no plan. This was so reassuring that I am not harming her education.
Hi,
I just discovered your blog. I loved your article about homeschooling and it was very inspiring. I also home school in Edmonton, Alberta. Even with all the normal challenges, I am so thankful to have my boys at home and learning together.
Would you be able to give me the web address to the spelling program you likes to use? I am also going to check out the math and L.A. programs you mentioned as I feel as if we need a little boost in some areas.
Thanks so much for sharing!!
Yes, here it is: https://www.spellingcity.com/
Grade Spelling is Free, Full of VocabularySpellingCity type games and Phonics based….their is also a paid version for classrooms ( isn’t that different, charge the teachers not the homeschoolers :). Your Great and I know this post is older but I appreciate it.
Oh DaNelle, this post makes me so happy!! I’ve had a hard time finding another homeschool mama after my own heart for how she goes about homeschooling, and reading your post was such a breath of fresh air. Thank you so much for sharing about your life and what works for you and your kiddos. I feel so blessed right now, realizing that the love of learning that we embrace as a family is the most important schooling priority.
Much love!
Nikki
Hi DaNelle! I love this post, because of your take that you worked with what was right for your kids and didn’t have blind loyalty to one curriculum. We don’t homeschool {yet}, but I’m very interested. I’m completely sold on the pro’s of homeschooling. I’d love it if you have any posts or resources to send me to so that I can get a good sense of the con’s. There must be some…
Can you share at what age you started with EIW? I’ve got 8 year old twins, a 7 year old and a 5 year old. They do copy work, spelling, etc. now but I would love to see them doing more. Also, how much time effort does that curriculum take on your part?
Hi Hannah,
I started when they were 10 & 12, it was a good age for them:)
Thank you and love your article on homeschooling. we have homeschooled our daughter since 2nd grade. Learning right along with her most of the time : ) she will be 14 this year. We are enjoying everyday.
She enjoys the freedom of choices and making decisions that effect her future.
Life is all about learning each and everyday throughout our whole life. I am so thankful for the choice to be able to teach our children at home our way at their pace.
Your are right, how often I think back to being in school and remembering I had 7 classes to get through plus homework, then I think am I teaching enough subjects to my daughter, should I add more. Redicullous thought, I know, and I refuse to overwhelm her with 7 different subjects. But sometimes I do get that thought. I am going to check out that math site you mentioned. Thanks again and happy homeschooling!
Lisa
Thanks for sharing, Lisa! Happy homeschooling to you:)
This was how I did all my kids homeschooling. And 20 years ago it was a tough sell. But they’re all grown up, and all of them are college graduates. We did find “holes” in their schooling, but by then they’d learned, how to learn, and found a way to fill them. It was the best thing on earth I ever did. The final reason I’m glad I did it, was all that time I spent with them. Who knew that they would marry and move to New Zealand, and Australia? What if I hadn’t spent that time with them and counted on doing it as they grew up? Keep up the good work. And keep inspiring others to find the joy!
Wow, what a great story!
I loved reading about how you teach your kids, and it’s obvious how successful it has been. But my question is, what do you plan to do when they become high school age? Would you still like to home school or are you afraid of them missing out on classic experiences like the Prom, football games, and playing high school sports? Just curious! Again, I love the way your children have been taught and how they are able to take charge of their own learning. It’s very interesting to learn about, especially from someone who has only gone to public school.
That’s a great question, Holly! We’re going to leave it up to them. We have a high school close by and we also have a large homeschooling group full of teens. We shall see!